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Amy Grant's Mandible

Part 7


I was wrong. Yma was game.

Later that day, I received a phone call. It was Yma.

"You owe me a dollar!" she said.

I couldn't believe it. Here's what happened:

Yma was excited to meet Amy Grant because she wanted to tell Amy Grant that she, Yma, had met her husband-to-be at an Amy Grant concert.

Yma had gotten to that concert on time, but she was a little late getting to the bookstore where Amy Grant was appearing. By the time Yma arrived, Amy Grant had already been singing a while. As Yma entered, she was given a number for the autograph line:


Three hundred forty-six.

To make things worse, when Amy Grant finished singing, it was announced that Amy Grant would have to leave in forty-five minutes to catch a plane. Things weren't looking so promising. But Yma waited.

Then some guy approached Yma and said he had to return to work and would she like to have his number--number 14.

Yma let out a scream (much, one would like to imagine, like the Peruvian jungle scream of Yma Sumac herself).

It wasn't long, then, before Number 14 was ushered into The Presence of the Mandible!

As a warmup, Yma first asked Amy Grant to sign her Behind the Eyes CD.

Amy Grant asked Yma how to spell "Amy." Not because Amy Grant is dyslexic, but because "Yma"'s name is actually "Amy." Remember? And I guess people might spell Amy lots of different ways. Particularly if they are from California.

Then Yma handed Amy Grant a box of Cherry Clan. Amy Grant stared at the box of Cherry Clan. Yma broke the silence. "I have a special request from a friend," said Yma. "He'd like you to have this--even though I told him you probably won't eat it."

Yma handed Amy Grant a second box of Cherry Clan.

"He'd also like you to sign this box."

Amy Grant asked Yma how to spell the name.

Note the tiny heart Amy Grant drew. Everyone loves Cherry Clan!

As Amy Grant was writing, Yma earned her dollar.

"Um . . ." she said, summoning up the dauntless courage of a Peruvian jungle princess, ". . . he also said to tell you that you . . . have a nice . . . mandible."

Amy Grant stopped writing and slowly looked up at Yma. ("I can't even begin to describe the look she gave me!" Yma told me.)

Yma nervously shrugged.

Amy Grant finished signing the box of Cherry Clan, then handed both boxes back to Yma, who told her that one Cherry Clan box was for Amy Grant to keep for herself, as a gift.

Amy Grant set the unsigned, unopened box of Cherry Clan on a table. And never touched it again. I'll bet it was still there when she left to catch her plane.

Yma realized too late that she had been so intent on her Cherry Clan duties that she plumb forgot to tell Amy Grant her meeting-her-husband story.

(But I'd bet money that by now Amy's read all about it here.)