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Three Card Monte

(Richard Gabourie, Chris Langevin, Lynne Cavanagh, Valerie Warburton, John Rutter (not John Ritter, the actor)


Bad movie. Bad, BAD movie.

Purchase the putridness

In the movies, Deuce of Clubs cards seem to be stuck with criminals and cons. No exception here. Three Card Monte is a poor man's Paper Moon: the old con-man-hooks-up-with-ostensibly-cute-kid movie. Only the kid is a boy, not Tatum O'Neal. Though he does have Tatum O'Neal's haircut. "Stories confuse me," says the con man protagonist. He's lucky to be in this movie, which doesn't have a story. It does have some snappy-ass dialogue, though. Here are some sterling examples:

    "I ain't got but a deuce!" [talking about money]

    Protagonist wins a Mustang in a billiards hall, and as he exits with the keys, he says, "Look at it this way, fellas: some days it's chicken salad, some days it's chicken shit!"

    Kenny: You let this guy make me look like horse manure. I don't like looking like horse manure. Nobody likes looking like horse manure. Do you like looking like horse manure?"
    Other guy: No. Aw, leave it, Kenny. Forget it.
    Kenny: Forget it? Horse shit!

    "This coffee tastes like panther piss."

    Jonathan Richman-sounding lounge singer: "C'mon, don't give me the nine of hearts -- come up & sing it with me!"



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