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"I Shit My Pants": Spontaneous Ancient Literary Structure in Modern Day Colloquial Speech

I.) Introduction
II.) Audio source
III.) The text
IV.) Chiasmus
V.) Analysis
VI.) Call for submissions
VII.) Submissions


"I Shit My Pants":
Spontaneous Ancient Literary Structure in Modern Colloquial Speech

by Clark Cooley, Ph.DL.DD.

Part III: The Text

Below is the transcript of our primary source, a voicemail originating from a native English speaker (dialect: Michigan), recorded September, 2004:

01:   Hey
02:   If you called me back, I missed it.
 
03:   I was at the grocery store.
04:   Where I just shit my pants.
05:   I SHIT MY PANTS!
06:   At the grocery store.
 
07:   [Laughs]
 
08:   Yeah!
 
09:   I didn't even take my cart back to the Cart Corral.
 
10:   [Laughs]
 
11:   And then I told this lady, I said "What? I shit my pants!"
12:   And she didn't even ASK me.
 
13:   She was ... looking at me like i was insane.
 
14:   'Cos I think I might be. I don't know.
 
15:   Is that crazy?
 
16:   Alright. Bye.

On the face of it (discounting, perhaps, the subject matter), there would seem to be nothing out of the ordinary about this voicemail. It seems to be a rather typical sample of current vernacular U.S. English language speech.

Careful analysis, however, reveals something more.

(Proceed to Chiasmus)


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