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What the Deuce?! home page

Ahhh, nature...

Industrial Strength Xmas

Observe the dismay of little Hitch the dog (a dog so seldom dismayed), her expectations dashed! -- dashed on the rocks!

The expectation raiser was an information sheet offered by the City of Portland, explaining the origin of The 2003 Holiday Tree for Portland...

... from which the following is quoted:

A GIFT FROM STIMSON LUMBER...
The 2003 Holiday Tree for Portland, a 75-foot tall Douglas-fir, is a gift from Stimson Lumber Company for all to enjoy this season. The tree was grown on Stimson Forestlands near Gaston, Oregon.... The search for the Douglas-fir, the state tree of Oregon, began about 6 months ago. As the holiday season approached, a team including Stimson foresters and contractors such as timber fallers, equipment operators and truck haulers carefully fell, loaded and hauled the tree out of the forest and up to Pioneer Courthouse Square....

What the self-congratulatory lumber company handout fails to reveal is the most salient fact, which is that The 2003 Holiday Tree for Portland has not a single naturally attached branch on it.

 

(Portland, OR -- dec2003)