Stripper Bingo
A dance club is a weird place. Did I mention this was my first visit to one? First of all, there wasn't much dancing going on -- about as much dancing as one might find at a gynecological examination. Most of the women just kind of wandered around onstage. I was expecting what I'd seen in the movies -- pole acrobatics, costumes, &c. (Though the most talented woman did blow out a whole book of matches with her vagina.) And only three of the women had real boobs.
Meanwhile, back at the bingo game, Cupcake had the same card I had, & I noticed she'd marked off "Curtins (sic) Match Carpet."

"Hey, you can't have that square -- there isn't even any carpet in this whole place!" She just stared at me until it dawned on me what that meant. Duh. (But even so, my objection was nearly true anyway.)

This square reminded me of "Mariah," who had shaved her crotch hair into a V. Maybe her mother's name starts with a V or something. Who doesn't love a sentimental stripper? There was a really snotty performer with a T where Mariah's V was. If only photos had been allowed... (insert bad "TV" joke here)