Wagner Advance!
Unfortunately, weeks of procrastination followed the initial portrait session. The coupons were to expire in a matter of days, we had the one-coupon-per-person issue to deal with, and now we didn't have time to go Penney's-hopping all over the greater Phoenix metro area. We had to act fast, so we commandeered a couple of visiting ghouls to help out. After stopping at the store to pick up a few packages of Goldfish (we were a bit short on UPC codes), the four of us, each armed with two UPC codes and an official Goldfish coupon, marched into the swankiest Penney's we could find, out in Paradise Valley. (Okay, Penney's could never be exactly swanky. However, they at least never sold Toughskins jeans, & that's swanky enough for me.)

We marched, however, right into another problem: we didn't have an appointment. Not that we did the first time, either--we just talked our way in. This time, however, the young girl manning the counter was in the act of clocking out & her night-time counterpart already had a full dance card. Basically, we were out of luck, she said.

Enter the mighty power of Wagner. Engage!

"No, you don't understand," I told her, pulling the Old Boy out of his black bag and setting him on the counter in front of her. "This is your model--not us." Then we showed her the recent newspaper article that featured his exploits.

She grinned. She grokked. She grokked big!

She got into the spirit of things instantly, and in no time at all we had four more W studio portraits in the can.

Wagner Advance!