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For this you woke me?
-- Beauregard


FEHLEN VON EINEM ENDE
ENTSCHULDIGEN SIE MICH BITTE
-- R. Wagner


Random omitted sentences:

  • A huge screwdriver inadvertently left inside Wagner's bag went undetected by hordes of airport security slugs.

  • Upon seeing my Shady Dell t-shirt, a guy on the airport shuttle said, "The Thing!"

  • BART ticket machines were not designed, but resulted from accidental collocations of atoms + energy + time. Or, it was three monkeys who couldn't find typewriters.

  • "They had ... uh ... tremendeous ... sexual dimorphism," said Jessica, referring to the large reproductive organs on the squirrels in her backyard.

  • Thanks to even higher fuel taxes than usual, gas in Needles is forty cents per gallon higher than a few blocks away and over the Colorado river, in Arizona. The gas station cashier, in respone to the question, "Do people who live in Needles buy their gas in Arizona or in California?" said: "Here. They aren't DUMB."


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