Autographed copies of Adventures with the Mojave Phone Booth are now available!

Apologies for the quality of the video captures....

We've had to keep it hush-hush up to now, but when Wagner attended the Olympics last year, that wasn't the only reason he was in Atlanta. He also visited the Cartoon Network studios to be interviewed for the Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast show. How'd it go? Well, they spent most of the interview time making fun of his name, so Wagner pretty much clammed up. (Maybe it's payback for an interview I did a while back, who knows? I know I didn't make any name jokes when we interviewed Space Ghost for Planet Magazine a couple years ago.) But the toontown folks did take some nice pix of the Old Boy, not that you can tell from my botched-up video captures. Plus I got an advance video and a copy of the script they used, both of which will be duly deposited in the Wagner Archives. Cartoon Network hasn't yet said when the episode will air, so please don't ask me. You'll hear when I do.

Re: the name jokes, note that when the script says "Wagner," Space Ghost is pronouncing it as in "Robert Wagner" or "Wagner Powersprayer"; when it says "VÄGner," it's being pronounced correctly (in German, that is).

So, without further introfuscation, here's the script and some video captures from:

Episode 64: "VW"

Moltar: (Sees Wagner on the monitor and laughs sarcastically) This oughtta be good!
(Theme music, credits, &c.)
Space Ghost: ("Invisos" in to set) Greetings, citizens! I am Space Ghost. Welcome to the show. Joining me tonight: "Wagner." Wagner? (Under his breath) This show really needs a booking agent. (Sighs) Play me to the desk, Zorak.
(Zorak and the Way Outs break into an almost recognizable version of the Prelude to Act III of Lohengrin)
Space Ghost: All-rightee! Please"Wagner."
Zorak: VÄGner!
Space Ghost: (Looks at his card and mumbles to himself) Hmm...there's no first name on here. It just says "Wagner."
Zorak: It's VÄGner!
Space Ghost: His first name is VÄGner? VÄGner Wagner?!? (Laughs) Your parents must've had quite a sense of humor, eh Mr. Wagner?
Zorak: VÄGner! And that's his last name. His first name is Richard.
Space Ghost: Richard? Wait a minute! Richard Wagner? I remember you! I loved you in To Catch a Thief!
Zorak: That was Robert Wagner. And the show was It Takes a Thief.
Space Ghost: You know, Robert, we almost called my first TV series, It Takes a Superhero.
Zorak: Space Ghost!
Space Ghost: WHAT, Zorak?!?
Zorak: You're thinking of Robert Wagner. This is Richard VÄGner.
Space Ghost: (Stares at cue card for a few beats, then stage whispers to Zorak) Oh. Right. Well, who's this guy, then? Is he a superhero?
Zorak: Ummmmmmmm. Yes.
Space Ghost: Well, if he's a superhero, where's his cape? (Looks into the camera, smiles, and says in his best Barry White voice) We superheroes wear capes!
(Cut to Wagner, now wearing an ermine-trimmed cape)
Space Ghost: All right! That's better! So, what superpowers do you have, Mr. Wagner?
Zorak: VÄGner! And he's a musician.
Space Ghost: A musician?!? A MUSICIAN?!? Musicians aren't superheroes! Musicians are idiots! Er....nothing personal, Mr. Wagner.
Zorak: Ahem...
Space Ghost: So, what kind of--
Zorak: A-HEM!
Space Ghost: Oh. Right. Same to you, Zorak.
Zorak: Gee, thanks. Cretin.
Space Ghost: Anyway. What kind of music do you do, Mr. Wagner?
Zorak: VÄGner!
Space Ghost: Zorak, stop interrupting! And why do you keep saying "VÄGner"?
Zorak: It's his name. Imbecile.
Space Ghost: (Looks at cue card) Says here "Wagner."
Zorak: It's spelled with a W. But it's pronounced VÄGner.
Space Ghost: I get it--like your name is spelled with a Z but it's pronounced "thorax." (Insert Zorak glaring at Space Ghost)
Space Ghost: (Sits silently for a moment. Then, to Zorak) What's this guy do, again?
Zorak: He wrote operas.
Space Ghost: I see. Then I guess that makes him an operator! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (Laughs for several seconds, stops abruptly; then, in a hurt voice) Why won't he talk to me, Zorak?
Wagner: (Insert of Wagner, who says nothing)
Space Ghost: (To Wagner) Please?
Space Ghost: Hmm...I know! Let's talk about your operas. What are your operas about?
Zorak: They're about heroes.
Space Ghost: Heroes? Super! (Arches eyebrows) Would you like to write an opera about a Superhero, Mr. Wagner?
Zorak: VÄGner!
Space Ghost: All RIGHT, Zorak! I GOT it! (Sarcastically) Say, what's the deal, anyway, Mr. "VÄG'ner with a W"--did they run out of V's on your planet? Hmm?
Space Ghost: Well?
Space Ghost: You know, we do a lot of talking on this show, Mr. VÄGner. It's a talk show. See?
Space Ghost: I hope your music isn't this quiet. What does your music sound like, anyway?
Moltar: (Insert of Moltar, who has begun loudly humming "The Ride of the Valkyries")
Zorak: Give me strength...
Space Ghost: (To Zorak) What's wrong? (Quietly] Did I already ask him that question?
Zorak: Mmmmm.... You have to guess.
Space Ghost: (Listening to Moltar) Okay. I can name that tune in--hey, I know this one! (Starts humming along with Moltar)
(Space Ghost joins Moltar in the control room for an impromptu duet)
Zorak: Space Ghost. Space Ghost! SPACE GHOST!
Space Ghost: Quiet, Zorak. We're "jamming!" (With a bad Jamaican accent:) And I hope ya like jamming too!
(Moltar keeps humming through the following. He does Brunhilda's parts in falsetto, with the "hoyataho"'s synchronized with his familiar arm-extending pose)
Space Ghost: Ohhhh! That Wagner! Tell me, Mr. Wagner--when you made your opera, were you scared of all those helicopters...and guns and...tanks and...amphibious assault vehicles...and talking, flying pigs?
Space Ghost: Okay, I'll go first--I admit I was scared. And I'm a superhero! C'mon. You can tell me. Talk to Space Ghost.
Zorak: That wasn't a VÄGner opera. That was Apocalypse Now. And it wasn't even filmed until a hundred years after VÄGner's death.
Space Ghost: What?
(Moltar's humming is getting louder and louder)
Zorak: I said, that movie wasn't even made until after VÄGner was DEAD!
Space Ghost: Wait a minute. Moltar! Knock it off!
Moltar (Whose helmet now sports horns and blonde braids, stops humming mid-note) Oh. Sorry.
Space Ghost: Did I hear you right, Zorak? Did you say dead?
Zorak: Yes.
Space Ghost: (To Wagner) You're DEAD?
Space Ghost: (Moves closer to telescreen; knocks on it) Hmm...doesn't answer. Just like a...dead guy! Say . . . you ARE dead!
Zorak: And--he doesn't have any arms.
Space Ghost:'re right! Zorak, do dead people usually have arms? (Does his strongman pose)
Zorak: (A Krusty the Klown Oo-boy sigh)
Moltar: (To Zorak) How did he ever get his own show, anyway?
Zorak: I don't know, but it should've been called, It Takes a Moron.
Space Ghost: Hey!
Zorak: Ho!
Space Ghost: HEY!
Zorak: HO! I mean...what?
Space Ghost: Hey, Zorak!
Zorak: WHAT?!
Space Ghost: This dead guy--I think he's a STATUE!
Zorak: No kidding. . . .
Space Ghost: You're a STATUE, aren't you, Mr. Wagner?
Zorak: VÄGner!
Space Ghost: WHAT DO I WIN?!?!??

Don't leave before the credits--if you hang in there, you'll see that Zorak even let Wagner sit in with the Way Outs!

with thanks (& apologies) & a tip of the Meister's beret to the kind folks at're still here! You must want to read my interrogation of Sarah Dyer & Evan Dorkin, who have scripted a bunch of Space Ghost episodes.
Background courtesy Mike Shawaluk, Keeper of Space Ghost transcripts
deuce of clubs home page
Wagner Zentral