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Rat's Revenge


All Isn't Quite Well...

The Rats' "Rat's Revenge" used to be one of my favorite 60s garage band songs.

Now? Not so much.

Turns out it's a bad thing to vacuum rat crap. Very bad thing. Trust me.

Turns out, not only does my brother-in-law offer a free pet with every car. You also get a free disease with every pet.

According to the doctor, you don't want to stick your head into a trunk full of rat shit. To a lot of people I suppose that would be considered common sense. I guess I thought Hantavirus was like Lyme Disease--I thought you had to be bitten by something. I'm not stupid enough to get bitten by a rat. But climb into a trunk full of rat shit & vacuum it out? Yeah. I'm just stupid enough to do that.
I bought this wind-up rat at the Orange Show's gift shop just before leaving Houston. It seemed appropriate.

Art is the child of Pain, according to Stephen Crane.
I'd say, for my part, that pain is the child of Art.

The rat is now in my freezer. Not because of the disease--though that's the reason I gave the doctor for its being there. The real reason is even more diseased: it was suggested that I have the thing stuffed in as near the whipped cream position as possible--with its back legs crossed and its little front paw covered in ersatz whipped cream--and mounted on Whip It!'s rear shelf.

So maybe I was a little sick before I got sick.

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