9/11 blah blah blah


Aren't the sensible saying Enough Already with the 9/11 schmaltz?

This darling tchotchke is so far from Enough Already -- let alone good sense and good taste -- that it is truly difficult to know how to comment.

I'll say this: it is entirely the fault of the camera that the towers have the appearance of being in flames (although I'm surprised the packaging designer didn't think of it).

If you go to work? And you die? You're, like, totally a hero.

"A spiritual way to remember the 3000 heroes of the most severe civilian attack in US history is "The Towers of Light Memorial Flame". It contains a long burning candle behind a replica of the facade of the World Trade Center. The Flame softly illuminates the placid sky, which creates the framework for American icons. The ensemble is to be lit for the anniversary of September 11th 2001. It is a consoling and somber tribute to the fallen heroes."

Not as heartbreaking as the copywriter may have hoped, though if you keep reading it, that crap might break your brain.

Not sure what to make of this detail from the back of the box (at left) -- is it supposed to be one of the thousands of business papers that floated out of the towers as they fell? In terms of the lack of taste of this entire endeavor, it wouldn't be surprising.

I am, however, fairly sure that the box detail on the right depicts the impact explosion from one of the jets.

© 2001 ... the vultures wasted no time.

Don't you just want to cry? Don't you? No, really. When I look at this, I pretty much fucking want to cry. We may live in the stupidest place on earth.

But, wait. It gets worse.

If you can believe it, one is supposed to burn the provided candles inside the replica Twin Towers. Those towers in New York. You know. The ones that burned.
Believe it or not, I paid only a dollar for this item at a dollar store. I know, I got taken, but if you want one, you'll really get taken -- for $17.95 + shipping & handing! -- by a fool-catering outfit calling itself NYFirePolice.com. ("Imaginative and innovative, NYFirePolice.com never sleeps." What a shame.). Those foolish enough to want 9/11 "commemorative" items are probably not intelligent enough to realize that their money is not going to any "heroes."

Say the mooks at NYFirePolice.com:

"Our 9/11 memorial items run the gamut from serious and inspiring to uplifting and hopeful. Commemorate one of the most eventful days in American history."

Now, my maudlin count is at permanent zero, but I still think it's ghoulish & disgusting for these weasels to capitalize on this. (After all, isn't that what politicians are for?) They have FIVE PAGES of "9-11 Memorial Items," including such things as:

"Ground Zero - NYC - 9-11 Cap" "9/11 Silence Memorial Tee" "Death Before Dishonour" "American Flag - Patriotic Panty THONG"
And don't let your shopping cart be bereft of the understandably wildly popular "NYPD Snow Globe".
Coming soon from HeartlessExploitiveBastards.com:
  • a miniature fully combustible toy Hindenberg (wind-up flaming passengers sold separately)
  • the U-R-There Baby Jessica Down the Well dartboard
  • our solid lead scale replica of the U.S.S. Arizona ("It really sinks!")