Without further DELAY here is the product that could change your life (if used properly, as approved by the FDA) ... the product that could bring a smile to your lips every day ... the product that would lure any sensible woman into your bed (if the Moratorium weren't in effect) ... MAN - DELAY! But have no fear, I have been unable to find an expiration date; you seem to have plenty of time.
F.Y.I. -- Since we were forced to dab a bit of MANDELAY on the grill of the truck in a wild hope that it would help us to escape from the evil clutches of PA, I was inevitably left with a mysterious MANDELAY residue on my thumb & forefinger. Strange. Very strange indeed. Not at all what I expected. First of all, it's colorless & odorless. (I was expecting something more like ... oh, I don't know ... novocaine.) Secondly, the mysterious residue. It was as if I had dipped my thumb & forefinger in a really weak wax. As an added bonus, they made a distinct squeaking sound when I rubbed them together. Very disturbing.
Conclusion: A condom would probably provide for a more effective DELAY in ejaculation with the perk of protecting against cooties AND pregnancy. I'll be sticking with condoms.