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This is easily the worst motel experience of my life. The Kettle Motor Hotel is even worse than that terrible pseudo-islander motel we stayed at in Baker, California on the way to Burning Man '97.

It may be called the Kettle, but it should be called the Pot, 'cos that what it's gone to.

The cable television operated erratically--a cursory inspection revealed that instead of a standard cable connector, these pioneering hospitality industry geniuses had tried to connect the cables with a piece of aluminum foil.
For decoration, there was graffiti to look at.
Inside the air conditioner, a cricket was chirping loudly. In the course of trying to put a stop to this, I looked on top of the AC unit and saw an appaling buildup of cricket feces.

The room was cold, but who knows whether the heater worked, because the heater fan clacked against the housing, so loud you couldn't hear anything else.

The smoke alarm didn't appear particularly trustworthy, hanging limply from the ceiling like some old cobweb.
Rock-hard bed, no heat, no TV--and no refunds! What could I do? Well, want to know how tired I was that night? I couldn't do anything. It was late & after driving all day, I didn't have the strength to pack up again and leave. I tried to sleep there anyway.

Now, I'm someone who likes hard beds. But trying to sleep in that bed was like trying to sleep on concrete. I tossed all night.

In the morning, I went to take a shower. No hot water. I tried the office. No answer.

Now I was really angry. I'd arrived at the motel tired & grimy; now I'd have to leave in the same condition. More time elapsed; still no answer from the office. By 8:00 I had packed my things & went to turn in the key. I thought I deserved my money back (and more!), but the clerk refused. "You should have complained last night that the shower didn't work," she said, through bulletproof glass, lucky for her. "I didn't try to take a shower last night!" I said. She treated me as if I was pulling a scam on her. The situation was exactly the opposite.

If you ever plan a trip to Anaheim and are looking for a motel and are for some reason thinking of staying at the Kettle Motor Hotel, review the following list and look for lodging elsewhere:

  • Big cigarette holes in the bedding
  • Heater inoperative
  • Smoke alarm inoperative
  • Deadbolt inoperative (I had to put a chair in front of the door)
  • Cricket feces
  • No television cable connector
  • Shower head broken
  • No hot water
  • Pieces of bacon strewn about the floor
  • Cigarette burns everywhere
  • Graffiti on walls
  • Graffit scratched into bathroom mirror
  • No electrical plug in the bathroom
Next night I determined to find a Motel 6.