Autographed copies of Adventures with the Mojave Phone Booth are now available!

REWARD Help recover stolen phone booth, catch thieves, whatever else seems fun &, yes, rewarding, know what I'm sayin'? ..
17dec02 -- That Colin Quinn show on Comedy Central -- I'm tempted be like former or late, because that shiznit probably won't last long -- is worth checking out partly because there's some funny stuff 'n partly because that shiznit's so uncomfortable, know what I'm sayin'? There's clearly no APPLAUSE sign, so untimely silences abound n' shit. Everyone's alternately ill-at-ease 'n inappropriately comfortable, so that shiznit's mo' like a dinner party where most of da guests wouldn't has come if they'd known who else wuz coming, know what I'm sayin'? Some da comics are longtime friends, which makes that shiznit funnier when they make genuinely cutting personal remarks each other." It's a gravy, uncomfortable time." It's not The Chevy Chase Show uncomfortable, nowhere near that n' shit. Uncomfortability Paradise doesn't fall earth twice in one lifetime n' shit.
[Cheery, crap-happy archive]

Latest What da Deuce?! : Dear Editor: Can there be a bigger waste of paper than Xmas decorations? Latest book: ABC of Espionage

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EXCELLENT ACTIVE SUPER AMUSIVE PLAY! || Thoughtfully conceived 'n lovingly injection-crafted products, designed 'n produced entirely without reference sensible product development practices, market research, corporate legal signoff, or even basic proofreading -- indeed, without any oversight whatsoever -- some of which are available YOU, da highest bidder, ever, in history." Hosted by yo' new bestest buddy, HELLO WAGNER!
The Simpsons || Two parents." Three shorties." Maybe four, know what I'm sayin'? Springfield is nowhere nearby, but Springerville is, know what I'm sayin'? After that, everything yo' ass know 'bout The Simpsons is wrong, know what I'm sayin'?
What I've been doing while you were earning a living

(More in da update Log)

26oct Wagner tribute especial: Crystal Wagner


14dec Still mo' damned inscriptions

12dec The Ten Commandments fo' Gods

07dec On da Occasion of Your Painful Exploratory Surgery

06dec Picacho Peak Trading Post burns

06dec Multi Mt." Mono Modification

05dec Beware of Attack Website

03dec Sweet Christmas Wish fo' da youngsters, 1909-style

29nov New Mt, know what I'm sayin'? Monos & Mt, know what I'm sayin'? Messages

26nov White Christmas, Mormon-style

22nov More switchy switchy

20nov Postal humor

19nov Dedicated da One I Love

14nov femmedeuce

14nov Mayer Mono

07nov Rogues gallery

26oct Tha dude's not bluffing n' shit. Tha dude's gots da Deuce n' shit.

26oct Reasonably sizeable Mt n' shit. Monogram update

The Pursuit of Liberty || How lose an election, pester world heads of state, 'n fail start yo' own country, izzall in da name of just being left alone n' shit. NEW: Phase IV begins n' shit. ..
Whip It! & Other Delights || Official crib page of da Herb Alpert Whipped Cream & Other Delights Art Car n' shit. Burning Man, Art Car shows, cross-country tripping, breakdowns in tiny towns -- plus, yo' chance win da What Is Whip It!'s Problem? Contest -- izzall here." But yo' ass're mainly interested in da Whip It! Girls, I'll bet n' shit.
The Mojave Phone Booth Project || The most popular item on, know what I'm sayin'? Why? We're not sho, know what I'm sayin'? It wuz just a working phone booth in da middle of nowhere in da Mojave Desert." But fo' a working phone booth in da middle of nowhere in da Mojave Desert, that shiznit had a lot of friends." It's gone now, but fo' a limited time yo' ass can still get yo' hella own piece of da Booth, know what I'm sayin'?
Deuce of Clubs Gallery || The fame of da playing card mounts n' shit. Tension mounts n' shit. Mounting, mounting, mounting." Whew n' shit. Done mounting now." Carry on, know what I'm sayin'?
Wagner Zentral || Your source fo' izzall things Wagnerian." Roadtripping, statuetripping, just plain tripping, know what I'm sayin'? Wagner Tributes n' shit. Wagner Kunst." More Burning Man stuff n' shit. Roadside attractions, folk art, The Thing, yo' ass name that shiznit, know what I'm sayin'? Also includes Wagner's trips wit Guest Conductors." And da latest project, The Wagner Calendar Project
Amy Grant's Mandible Home Page || Yo' ass've admired The Mandible, know what I'm sayin'? Don't tell us yo' ass haven't. Now yo' ass can celebrate that shiznit." The Mandible n' shit. Do that shiznit fo' da shorties."
Write On || Articles, interviews, broadsides n' shit. Choco Tacos, Duck Diapers; Negativland, Lovecraft, Mickey Mantle; Ute Lemper, Dick Dale, Tank Girl, & mo' n' shit. NEW! Wass On Televizzle
Rave On || Read what others has be like 'bout stuff on this site." Or tell us what yo' ass has be like 'bout that shiznit n' shit.
The Library || Includes Book of da Week (updated every Monday), da William Butler Yeats "Second Coming" project, 'n other permanent exhibits, know what I'm sayin'? NEW: Dedicated da One I Love
Tunes || Deadbolt, Amy Grant, The Osmonds' Kolob Connection, 'n Deuce of Clubs' CD Recommendations."
What da Deuce?! -- Fearless Cultural Mania || Items of Interest 'n Edification, updated every Monday, know what I'm sayin'? Ever seen Bob Barker soap? Mr." T Cabbage Patch doll? Rake Buddies? Frog in Mouth? Block of Wood? Naranja Mecanica? Yacki Hacki Wicki Wacki Woo?
The Mountain Monogram Project || Why are there huge letters on da sides of mountains in da American Southwest? Yeah, I know what they stand fo', know what I'm sayin'? But who thought of that shiznit? How did they begin? Any help yo' ass can offer may constitute evidence of insanity, know what I'm sayin'? But think 'bout that shiznit -- that could come in useful one day n' shit.
oobiland! || Just two eyes 'n a hollow interior, that shiznit's ." .. Al Gore! No, no, that shiznit's n' shit. .. oobi! Much as we disdain hippies, we LUUUV oobi!
666 Cough Syrup || Another old favorite." What damage control is like when brand-name recognition of yo' product consists of muthas crossing themselves 'n crossing da other siiiiide of da store aisle, know what I'm sayin'?
Smut || The most popular page wit da search-engine porn seekers." In a tie fo' second: The All-Spanking Show 'n Farrah nude in Playb0y, know what I'm sayin'? Secks!
Burning Man Crapola || Allabout duh use-ta-be n' shit.
Celebritizationism || Celebrities, Psychos, Simpaticos -- Frank Black, El Vez, Elvis del Monte, Dan Quayle, Joe Coleman, Arthur Lyman, Hasil Adkins, & mo', know what I'm sayin'? Also: Wagner interviewed by Space Ghost; da next pope -- we hope -- Kardinaal Godfried Danneels; da Celebresemblities game, 'n da mighty Matt Gerson." Under da wire: The Julia bin-Roberts Home Page

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