if you could be cryogenically preserved, and someone would wake you up, later, would you do it?
without hesitation.
and when would you want to be woken up?
dinnertime.
no, i guess . . . dinnertime . . . in the year 2525. to see if man is STILL ALIVE! and also to see whether dinner is ready.
maybe you could have a dinner frozen with you.
i'd probably wake up to find i was dinner. MAN IS STILL ALIVE . . . AND HE IS HUNGRY
defrost...cook...start....
i would get to yell a cinematic "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
and then.... DING!
except i wouldn't hear that part. unless man who is STILL ALIVE in 2525 likes eating people who are . . . STILL ALIVE!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
From: discsteve
Subject: Burning Man
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2008
Thanx for the report on BM 1999. I've always wanted to make the scene, but didn't realize it was such a fucked-up, commercial venture. Just came back to deuceofclubs from the BM web site. Are they fuckin' nuts? $295.00, per person, for a fucking ticket? 20 fucking dollars for the ability to reenter the site? Ticket pre-purchase mandatory? Permission needed to film/tape? I can only wish upon them the same spot in Hell reserved for the capitalist pigs that ran the Woodstock anniversary event.
I think I've lost ALL interest in making the trip to Black Rock.
I think I'm going to puke. Heil Harvey!
it explains why i went back in '05 (and in '06, too).
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008
From: Matt W.
Subject: Any idea how to get a hold of Nothing, Arizona by Don Simpson?
Hi,
The link at your page for Nothing,Arizona is dead, and I was wondering, do you know of anywhere else where the book is available?
sorry, i don't. i don't even see any copies listed at bookfinder.
good luck,
doc
Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2008
From: Kim S.
Subject: horse races
DOC,
As the warm breezes of Spring waft though my window, I tend to wax poetical (in some bass ackward sort of way).
Speaking of breezes, the winds of change have blown me around and I find myself without convenient Internet access. A mixed blessing, i reckon. Less porn (oh and no DOC)
no porn and no DoC. i wonder, with shakespeare, which is the greater tragedy?
but more time for reading and waxing.
then i hope you're reading library books.
This has been kicking around on my desk for a while. It was inspired by you and your race horses.
"Faugh-A-Ballagh!" roared Robert the Devil. "Cut loose the sheet anchor and cast off for the Promised Land." "Aye aye, Cap'n." replied Orlando Guiccioli, first mate aboard the Bel Demonia. (1)
"The Prome Minister Wormsley sent Sir Hercules Glaucus, Baron Bertram Weatherbit, even that fop Duke Idvl Pantalonade after me." said Robert the Devil " All met my namesake dancing at the end of my cutlass." (7)
The tavern grew hush as the three pirate sisters strolled into the common room. Constance Ithuriel (the Orville Mare) a tall redhead, Hilda the Milkmaid (the Hampton Mare) a buxom blonde, and Morgiana Espoir (the Cervantes Mare) a raven-haired beauty. Robert the Devil felt a touchstone drop. (25)
Ursula Cinizelli took on the Orville Mare and fought her to a standstill. All she had to show for it is a Jerico Birdcatcher and a lot of scar tissue. (33)
"Didn't you 'pocahontas' Hilda the Milkmaid (also known as the Hampton Mare) at the Pantaloon Festival in Augusta?" whispered Jerry Humphrey Clinker. "Yes, yes Clink. With the glee of Priam and the harmony of Voltaire." said Robert the Devil. (47)
"It's all quite complicated." explained Ethel Stockwell. "You see, Miss Letty Wanona won the Turquoise Amulet in the Melbourne Lottery. She then traded the Amulet to Ethelbert Hersey for the Eclogue Memento. Dame Durdan of Bay Celia employed the services of three certain pirate sisters to 'acquire' the Memento. Not for the relic itself but for the treasure hidden within." "Of course!" grinned Robert the Devil. "The Deuce of Clubs!" (61)
you know, i think i'm going to start just making up book excerpts, instead of typing out real ones.
Hey there Deuce of Clubs, I came accross your website and there is a faschinating document—
hey, you say that like popeye!
Peterson's Incident Report Book—I'm doing a project for school and would love to get a copy of this? Possible? I will pay, do let me know. Thank you!
i wish i could help you, but my copy is in storage. would you happen to be in portland? according to bookfinder.com powell's has a copy right now for $7.93.
I ordered it from Powells- and a big thank you to you Deuce!!
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2008
From: jess
Subject: Worse than 666?
Did you know there was a KKK Medicine Company?
yow! i did not.
I was looking for antique type on eBay and found a printer's block with their logo.
Most of the info online seems to be about some suit they were involved
in (not about the name), but here's a doc on bottle collection that
mentions it (.PDF)
the keokuk explanation seems plausible—at least more plausible than
monticello's explanation of 666. i wonder whether it was commonly
referred to as "kay kay kay" or "three kays" (as 666 is called—in
radio ads, anyway—as "three sixes"?
Date: Sun, 24 Feb 2008
From: dan h.
Subject: Christian demos
Those songs were good, but I was really hoping I would see a writeup about "At an Inn on a Dark Night So Long Ago" or "Indian Love"
of course i now must ask you whether you have mp3 evidence of these delights?
i have them on my computer and also "the demo zone", as far as it goes with songs that aren't on the site. do you mean that you want me to send them to you?
i don't know what the demo zone is, but i'd love to hear them & if you don't mind emailing them.
Date: Thu, 24 Jan 2008
From: H R
Subject: A link to your site added in www.exmormon.org, re: chiasmus
A discussion of chiasmus on another forum led indirectly to my discovery of your site - hence I posted a link to the latter in the former:
[NOTE: Link may or may not work; that board does not archive all its threads.]
As the name might suggest, this is a site unapologetic to the jackass, Joseph Smith, the cult he founded, the psychopathology of the Faithful, etc.
From: Laurie M.
Subject: kitten
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008
Wow Im so honored front page of DoC!
you got the cuteness of cats going on now.
kitten is playing and sleeping and eating.
tentatively named "trip".
that is a great name.
shingled saguaro kills me.
achh!
surfing on DoC is good when its on someone elses timeclock but its killin me on my self employed time.
I cant stop.
Subject: exotic world / burlesque question
Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2008
From: George S.
Hi Doc,
I have a good friend, Cathy Russell, who is a burlesque dancer in the chicago area that goes by the name of maiden sacrifice. She is putting on a burlesque festival at the old Admiral Theater here in Chicago from mid-Feb to Mid-March and she is billing it as a festival since it's 6 weeks long and at multiple venues. Do you know, or do you know who I should ask about whether there has ever been any other so called Burlesque Festival? Cathy would love to call her's the first if she is really the first one. Thanks very much for your time! Please let me know if there si someone else that you know that I should try...
From: jim vanhollebeke
Subject: RE: DeuceOfClubs.com ... Thank you Doc!
Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2008
Thank you, Doc,
I love your strange place.-
It reminds me of mine!
(:))
Thank you for the little INFO you could give me on the wonderful book, THE SECRET MUSEUM OF MANKIND by unknown sources. It has been a fascinating mystery to me for many years.
I would like to send you a copy of MY book, Jim vanHollebekes, TALES FROM MY VAULT.
It is autobiographic....all true ... and hillarious.
I'll send the book with no obligation on your part - if you simply reply - with your snail mail address.
Thanks again for a very entertaining and educational website.
I hope you'll find time to visit OUR unique and remarkable place too!
Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2008
From: Ian Macky
Subject: Secret Museum of Mankind ad
Hi Doc...
Can you tell me where you got that ad for The Secret Museum of Mankind?
I'm in the process of scanning/transcribing/thumbnailing/indexing and
finally researching... and I'd like to include a copy of that ad,
so would be nice to have an original.
that scan was sent to me by the cardhouse robot 7 years ago. as he notes beside it, it came from Keen magazine (july, 1942). you could write him to see if he remembers anything else about it.
good, thanks.... (keen magazine??)
i know, huh? weird. people would swallow anything during wartime. oops, i mean, will.
W -> Worst
Imagine what else we could have done with that $1 trillion.
are you compiling a secret museum of mankind website?
yes, i've got about 800 pictures done so far. i've got blisters on my fingers!
i need to write a cover page, and want to include that ad. most of the
museum came from "People of all Nations" i think; still trying to pin
down the sources.
terrific! good work. if you'd like me to link to it, let me know when it's ready and i will do so.
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008
From: Ian Macky
Hi Doc...
I've finished the Secret Museum and posted it all. Still waiting for
some books to arrive in the mail which may clear it up some, but it
remains largely a mystery. I know where most of the images/text came
from, but not why they weren't sued into oblivion for ripping them off.
Hopefully the mystery will unravel. I'm not done picking at it yet.
Cheers!
--ian
well done! however did you track down the sources you did? just go plowing through old books at the library?
by searching around for photo caption exact text, i found matchs for
original pages for sale on old-print.com, and the seller ID'd the
source-- Peoples of All Nations. from that and the author (Hammerton),
i found this which
led to more books from the original period. So far I'm only sure about
two. Once my Hammerton arrives I'll go through it and mark which Secret
Museum pages are from there; eventually I hope to locate them all.
